Good leaders listen more and talk less.
Why should you talk less? First, you can keep yourself from looking foolish. Second, listening more helps you learn and grow. Third, both of these will make you a better leader.
So much of what we have to say just adds to the cacophony of noise around us. I’m not talking about traffic noise and the noises of a busy city or town. I’m talking about social media, so-called news feeds, e-mail, and texts – the platforms that we use to communicate (Or, rather, how companies sell products and services to us. If it’s free, then you’re the product being sold. But that’s off my point.).
In The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene says to always say less than necessary. Powerful people, he says, know that they are more effective by saying less than they know. The more you say, the more likely it is that you will end up saying something foolish. You and I both know there are a lot of foolish things said. Sometimes we ourselves are the ones that say them.
Much (most) of what we have to say just adds to this cacophony. We air our grievances and tribulations publicly on all of our social media platforms to elicit supportive comments and emojis from our audience. We also respond angrily to the ones designed to provoke us so we engage with the platform (Remember, if it’s free . . . ). We are not adding anything to the conversation, mostly because the conversation isn’t worth having in the first place.
I am a great fan of “The West Wing,” a political drama series created by Aaron Sorkin. It ranks very high in any best-written tv series list. The dialogue on the show is very fast-paced and tightly written. I was listening to “The Daily Stoic” podcast when another respected author pointed out that the characters, in all of their fast-talking dialogue, are not engaging in real conversations. Rather, they appear to be listening to respond and advance their own position. When I reflected on this, I had to agree the author had a point.
Here’s the problem with all this talking: We are not giving our minds the capacity to really listen. We aren’t growing, learning, or understanding when we talk so much. We’re like the characters on “The West Wing.” We are only waiting to respond. Perhaps that is part of the point that Mr. Sorkin was looking to make.
By listening more and talking less, your leadership improves for several reasons. First, you end up asking more questions because your mind now has the capacity to do so. There is no such thing as multitasking. Second, you cultivate a culture that encourages good ideas to surface. Third, the level of trust your team has in you increases.
So the next time you feel yourself merely responding, stop and instead ask some questions. You’ll find that it becomes natural very quickly.